This is my journey...

I'm on this weight loss tip now... I've officially started changing my life and its' contents, i.e. food intake! I've come to the realization that I'm about to be 27 years old, I'm a mommy of 2 and a wife and there's no excuse why I can not look like a hot mama! I'm tired of not doing my hair and just throwing it up in a pony-tail or a clip. I'm tired of leaving the make-up bag at home or in my car because I don't want to take the time to put it on. I'm tired of not dressing up sexy for my husband when he deserves to have a good looking woman by his side. I'm just tired of it all. I want to be the hot sexy mama he met back in 2003, be a role model for my boys by means of eating right and taking care of myself, i.e. keeping a clean home, having good hygiene and always modeling proper etiquette.

I started using www.myfitnesspal.com after a woman who I met at the gym recommended it. It's a food logging diary which transcribes your daily calorie intake and can even log your exercise. The first day I used it, I was shocked! I couldn't believe how many calories I was intaking a day and how much unhealthy damage I was doing to my body by letting it try to process all of that junk food.

On a regular day, I would eat 2 days worth of my daily calorie intake! While being shocked, it broke me down emotionally to realize that this was not okay. What kind of mom and wife was I being to my family? I was showing them that eating like this and not exercising enough was healthy yet I preached the choir about being healthy and working out. I was a hypocrite!

It's been almost 1 month and so far, I've lost 7 lbs. I weigh myself weekly on Mondays' and always do it 1st thing, before breakfast. I watch everything I eat, document it all, even if I go over, and exercise at least 3-4 times a week. Let's face it, I could lose a lot more weight super fast but that wouldn't be healthy either. For me, this is a change of life. I'm educating myself on food, reading nutritional labels and staying away from negative influences like drive- thru restaurants and even restaurants in general. Cooking my family's food keeps me in control. It allows me to see exactly what I'm using to make our meals from the stove to the table. I'm allowed to cheat once a week, but calories to me are like money now. My calories are to be spent wisely and used in moderation. I'm still learning a lot about self-control and it's not easy!

I hope to continue forward, not backwards, on this journey and will begin blogging daily to give you all insight, hopefully to influence someone else who may want the same change!

Back to Reality...

A blissful vacation with family these past two weeks. I had a great time with my babies in our home state visiting our relatives and playing with our friends. It's back to reality now preparing for what will be a hectic week to come as we move in-state to a bigger home...

Nothing ever compares to that of your own family. As you mature, you realize how much you need to let the people who feed negative energy into your life go and embrace the ones who would rather feed you positive energy every moment possible. While I love my family dearly, I've spent the majority of my life taking care of everyone else, worrying about everyone else and not taking advantage of beneficial opportunities because of them. You don't realize how much you've missed out on until you're reminded of how much you've missed in being there for nothing.

Thanks be to god, I've been blessed with a wonderful husband and two beautiful boys. They for one are whom I need to direct 100% of my attention to, not the others... While I'll always love my extended family members and wish that I could just fix everyone's problems, I no longer can afford to jeopardize my one life to live in effort to make theirs just the way they'd want it. While that may sound harsh, the truth hurts. I've always been the sensitive type, the one to get offended easily yet still make a big thing out of nothing. I've always been a drama queen with good reason and forever have I tried to be the life saver.

My point is, there's no way to balance the life as a working mommy, a wife, a daughter, a relative and a babysitter (and I don't mean to my own children). Believe me, I've tried to juggle it! I've come to realize that for so long I've left myself behind and I need to find the way to get myself back and only myself. Speaking of age, I feel as though I'm at my prime, at 26. I want to still become extremely successful in my career, I want to always try and be a better mommy, the most fabulous wife both inside and out, a relative to those who actually care for me back and reciprocate the love and a friend to those whom are actually good friends to me. Let's be honest, now a days, that's old school.

Like the songs always sing, "you've gotta do you!" Who'd have known that in this day and age, they're right. My inner self, faith, beliefs and perspectives need to be based on a healthy lifestyle that I create for myself. Every day is a new day so I should start now....

Yours truly,

You

Life changes...

Its crazy how from one minute to the next, life can change? The people in my life, the things I do on a regular basis, etc. can all just go away, change or become void. Lately, my family aspect has been the most challenging. Between my blood relatives and my in-laws, justice has been dismissed. I’d like to think that it's just a seasonal thing that possibly they too are going through things for which I have no control over. But, at the end of the day, I still love, cherish and adore them. Up to what point though? Up to what point is it okay to be talked about, treated unfairly, accused wrongly, etc? Up to what point is it no longer my fault and is it theirs? Sounds childish huh? You’d be surprised though as to how much older yet so much more childish those people act over me.




At this point, the best thing for me to do is to break away. Breaking away from all of the sadness and moping and just getting back to me. At the end of the day, and through pensive processes, my family is the one that my husband and I created and no one else’s. We are the controls of our destiny, of our wishes and of our health. we are responsible for how things affect us and if they do affect us to a point of no control, it is up to us to change that hurt into a positive feeling, grow from it and ultimately learn from each experience. Why should one person’s hurt towards another govern their emotions? I guess the better question would be, why am I so sensitive and let things bother me so easily?



Granted, being overly self-conscious like that can cause for assumption when in actuality the source of what that person meant to say or do really wasn’t harmful. I guess my spirits are low these days. I have recited the Serenity prayer like I’ve gone to the bathroom these past few days because of how I’ve been feeling. Like the prayer recalls, there are things that I can’t change and I need that strength to get over it. It’s not my fault why they are miserable, why they just don’t know the source of the information to accuse rightfully instead of wrongly, why possibly what they want I have or vise versa and instead of being proud as I would be of them, they’re hateful.



Given time, all does heal. I’ve learned that through experience and through maturity. Achieving such grasp of understanding doesn’t come in a manual nor is there ever a clear way of processing it.



Nonetheless, I love my husband and most importantly, my babies and it’s because of them I continue to live my life in the most healthy way possible.



Sincerely,



Tiff

Passion for change...

Life in South Carolina has definitely shown me that while there is civilization after Miami, there's nothing like one's niche. i have tried, in more ways than one, to accomplish my life and make the best out of my situation. there is no connection like that of the one i have back home. while i have always been a fan of moving away and trying something new, I'd like to think i exhausted every option prior to giving up on a place. in my case, i think it was more influential than not to have made this move. it wasn't based on my desire. i was made to believe that this place was the next best thing after sliced bread. ultimately, and at times, i did enjoy it and wanted to escalate my ventures into other directions but I'm not sure that is my plan anymore.

My passion for owning my yummy creations business is live. Maybe this is something I'd be super successful in doing here in South Carolina considering there are no Hispanic bakeries, limited Latin cuisine and if so it's Mexican and barely any Latin-inspired pastries in the grocery store.

What are your thoughts? I'm focused on making this my last resort prior to exploring my options elsewhere, hint hint, back home. Granted, and in today's economy, one has to be extremely patient when trying to start a business anywhere for that matter. Would almost 3 years of traveling back and forth the east coast be permissible to say I've been patient though?

I'm determined yet anxious, passionate yet reluctant and ultimately focused yet questioning. A little in between it all wouldn't you say?

Direction would be a killer right now...

What I'm reminded of...

Everyday, I'm reminded of my attitude and how it affects not only my perspective on life but how it portrays me as a person to the world. I'm constantly concerned with what other's think and if I'm acting like a not so nice person one day, I feel I've endangered my image. While I shouldn't care of what other's think of me, I feel that even at my strongest points in my life this is completely a normal habit that many people commit although few admit.

I came across this from Charles Swindoll, the author, and could not turn my eyes away from it as it is 100% true!

Attitude
By:  Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church or a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes.

Well said Charles Swindoll, I am ultimately reminded of what is important in life as far as my attitude is concerned and that I need to let go of those things I have no control over, especially what others think of me.

Write you later...

This is my time...

Going through life and it's everyday routine keeps me on my toes and never thinking of the negative impacts, only until that moment when I realize that enough is enough. That those things I had been avoiding for so long are not a part of my anguish. My reasons for disappointment begin to make sense and I am no longer at ease with everything just being. I want more. I want what I can't have. I've made sacrifices to accomodate others and am now realizing how that's affected me as a person. While I have no regrets, I've never been able to acclimate to the changes properly. Instead, I inundate myself in the things that bring me joy to avoid confrontation of the inevitable.

When is it okay to hault and stand my ground? To make it known the things that I want? Now. Now is the time I have to give in and realize that I am a woman of great power. I have the ambition and perseverance to create even more success. It's not over for me. I've done my time as the door holder. Now, I'm the leader. My baby boys bring me great joy and I've already taught them what courage is all about and will continue to do so as they grow. Humility is necessary in order for one to look at the bigger picture. No one is perfect. No one does it right the first time around. If they do, it might be the second time around where their performance equals lesser value.

Who I used to be, who I am, and who I want to be are all the same as Tiffany has not changed. I am still the ultimate extrovert, the one who creatively finds new ways to bring others joy to not feel any pain in life for it is blissful. I am still the one who strives to be an example, a role model - not the follower. I do my best in making efforts to lead by example and admit when I'm wrong to learn from my mistakes and promise not to repeat such imperfections.

My next venture is simple. Past accomplishments are plentiful and I could write a novel to exemplify every industry I've tried. What am I doing different now that I didn't do before? Pursue my passion. I've realized how genetically, I've inherited the craving of always seeking the monetary pleasure out of life. The parental unit for which still lives this way 'til this day is unhappy with life and what the result has revealed. No materialistic value can make you happy. It is solely temporary. It satisfies those momental cravings, like a pregnant woman who just wants to eat ice cream or pickles in the middle of the night.

I'm hopeful such aspiration will finally give result. This is the sacrifice aside from my maternal ones that are done from my heart for which I will never hault that is going to make me who I have always wanted to be. I will pursue it with a smile and accept when I fail the first time but will get up again and keep it moving. That's the best way to learn. My babies are my life, my drive and my reason for continued success. They bring out the best of me but one must be healthy and free of toxins. Success in one's eyes has to come from the heart and not from the balance in their checking account. Success has to be the natural pleasure that one seeks in accomplishment.

What results from this, it is unknown. I will keep posted...

Being a Mommy...

Children are the ultimate best gift in the world. They bring so much joy to their parents. One of the best feelings in the world is receiving love and compassion from your child. It crowds me with misunderstanding how and even worse why some mothers rid or harm their children selfishly. Out of spite, used as leverage and for various other excuses claimed as reasons, some mothers do not understand the life they are destroying. Your child did not ask to come into this world nor is he the reason for your hardship. Granted, unfortunately women are raped and become pregnant. Even so, proper execution of that fetus could be easily managed by such member seeking appropriate resources and help to care for their fetus correctly. What is it going to take to stop these women from murdering their babies? How many trash chutes, wooded areas and heat-exhausted car cases are going to occur for it to be enough? Where is our justice as good mothers to penalize these criminals? Regardless of where we came from, how we got here or what we have planned for our future, as a parent you are depended on. No dollar or materialistic value will compensate for the love between a parent and their child and it should never be taken for granted. Society has led us to believe it is okay to rid of our problems when it becomes too much to handle. Don't believe it. Love your children, believe in self-enhancement and love your child for they will adore you in return. This is dedicated to my babies Tyler Logan and Elijah Lucas. Mommy "yuv's" you!